To get a guy to like you, you must first focus on yourself. Be confident, put yourself out there, and make it clear you’re available. Get to know him. Talk to him, compliment him, and do things together. Make the next move. Spend time with him and tell him you’re interested. Have patients and keep his feelings into account.
Step 1. Focusing on You
Be confident. You’ve got to show this person how awesome you are, but first you need to know how awesome you are. Build up your self confidence if it’s sorely lacking. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to be loud, boisterous, arrogant, chatty, or forward. It just means getting to a place where you feel comfortable in your own skin.
You can be secure, sweet and humble all at the same time. But be prepared to come out of your shell. Guys like confident, interesting girls who lead their own lives.
The only guys who like insecure girls are the ones who are insecure themselves and want to dominate another human being. And who wants to be with a guy who wants a girl to feel bad about herself or who wants to tell you how to be all the time? That’s not healthy, and you deserve much better.
Look your best. Without being fake, make an effort to look your best around the guy you like. Guys are visual creatures so looking your best will simply spin the odds in your favor. But most importantly, when you look your best you’ll feel your best – giving you the confidence you need to let your awesome personality shine through.
A little make-up can go a long way. You don’t need to color-by-number your face, but mascara opens up your eyes, lip-balm enhances your smile, concealer can cover and insecurities, and tweezers could really help nightmare eyebrows. Just wear what you are comfortable with.
Dress in clothes you feel comfortable in. Don’t squeeze yourself into a body-con skirt if that’s not your usual style. A well-fitting pair of jeans and a top that brings out the color of your eyes is a safe but striking combo.
Smile a lot – research has found that people become more attractive to others when they smile, so flash those pearly whites as often as possible to look prettier, as well as friendlier and more approachable.
Make your presence known. A guy can’t fancy you if he doesn’t know you exist. If you haven’t caught his eye yet, then get him to notice you. Make sure you show a little interest and drop small hints that you like him.
Most guys won’t ask you out because they’re afraid of getting shot down. You’ve got to walk before you run, right? Say “Hi”. Say “Good-bye”. Give a little wave. When he reciprocates, you’ll know that you have his attention.
Introduce yourself somehow and make conversation. It’s nearly impossible for someone to like you if he doesn’t get to know you, unless he “likes” you for all the wrong reasons.
Have a good sense of humor. Having a good sense of humor makes everything better. This doesn’t mean you should be a giggling fool, laughing at everything that crosses your path, but you should try not to take yourself too seriously and always be ready with a laugh, especially when your crush is around.
If you’re too serious or straight-faced all the time, he may find you intimidating and unapproachable, which is the last thing you want.
Express your sense of humor in your own way. Some people are witty and sarcastic, others can tell hilarious stories, and many people just do quirky things and poke fun at themselves.
No matter what tickles your sense of humor, it’s much easier to like someone who you can have a laugh with once in a while. If you don’t find something to laugh about together, then maybe you’ll discover that you don’t like him after all!
Make it clear you’re available. A guy is not going to hit on you if he thinks you’re taken, so it’s your job to make it clear that you are single and ready to mingle.
If you have a Facebook account and he’s not already in your friends list, invite him; just make sure your status is set as single!
You should also make it obvious in other subtle ways, such as hanging out with your girlfriends in a place where you know he’ll be, dropping subtle hints about not knowing who to go with to an event, etc.
Letting your friends in on the situation is probably a good idea – they can help strategize to get the two of you together, and also diffuse any awkward situations. They also know where you stand on the relationship front and won’t start falling for him themselves.
Step 2. Getting to Know One Another
Don’t be afraid to be his friend. Being a guy’s friend first gives you two great benefits: he gets to know you and you get to know him, without the awkwardness of being in a dedicated relationship. Treat him like you would all your other friends – be casual and comfortable around him.
Guys will usually be more open with guys than girls, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t get close – that’s usually where the magic happens.
Just be careful though – if it gets too platonic, you might lose the romantic connection and sometimes it can be really hard to get back that spark once you are placed firmly in the friend-zone.
If this happens, things can become too complicated and you might be tempted to give up. A little bit of flirtation throughout the relationship will keep things going nicely.
Talk to him. This may seem like a no-brainer, but actually talking to the guy you like (rather than pining after him from afar) is of utmost importance when it comes to getting him to like you.
Ask him stimulating, interesting questions; find out about his life, his family, his friends; tell him funny stories. Anything that opens up a dialogue between the two of you.
If you can get the guy talking about something he’s really passionate about – whether it’s a favorite sports team, band, author – then you’re on to a winner. When he’s talking to you about something he loves, he’ll start to associate the positive emotions he feels with you!
Compliment him. Though this may come as surprise, guys love compliments just as much as girls do, so don’t be afraid to say something nice to him from time to time. Of course, showering him with fake compliments is not a good idea – you’ll just come off as insincere.
Compliment something about his appearance, like his cute dimples or cool new haircut. Just don’t overdo it – guys can be shy about that sort of thing. A simple “I love the color of your eyes” is all you need to say.
However, compliments don’t just need to be focused on appearance. If he’s talking about something that he loves, tell him that you admire how passionate he is. You can also compliment his sporting performance or tell him what a great job he did on a class project.
Do things together. Finding activities that you can enjoy together can really create a bond between the two of you and allow him to appreciate how fun and interesting you are. Once he sees that you’re someone he can share his passions and interests with, he might start to see you as potential relationship material.
If he thinks of himself as the next premier league player, turn up at any football practices you’re invited to and cheer him on. If he loves to rock ask him if he can show you how, and make a good-faith effort to see why he’s so into it.
You can also invite him along to experience some of your interests. For instance, you could bring him along to a dance class or invite him to try out some unusual ethnic cuisine. Discovering that you’re a person who can introduce him to new and exciting experiences can be a major attraction for a guy.
Find some common interests. Find out what the two of you have in common and exploit it! Shared interests are the foundation of many a successful relationship, so this step should not be overlooked.
It doesn’t matter what the interest is, it could be as simple as the ability to recite lines from Family Guy episodes or as intense as a fascination with astrophysics – as long as it leads him to see you as a kindred spirit.
For example, If you both love a basic certain kind of music, ask him if he’s ever listened to a particular artist and offer to play a CD for him. Or if a mutual favorite band comes to town, invite him to go with you.
Get to know his friends. Guys love their friends, so its essential that any potential girlfriend gets along with them. For this reason, it is extremely worth your time to get to know his friends and let them see you as a “cool girl”. This will let the guy see how easily you could slip into his life – no complications, no drama.
If you can get his friends on your team, that’s a major bonus. They will root for you and bring you up around your crush, even when you’re not there. This will ensure that you’re always on his mind.
Be careful though. You don’t want to flirt with his friends. This will send conflicting signals and may make you seem like a tease.
Step 3. Making the Next Move
Be flirty. Once the two of you have got to know one another and are frequently hanging out, you can start to kick things up a gear. Show the guy that you’re interested in being more than just friends by flirting with him – it might be just the sign he’s been waiting for to ask you out.
. Make sure to smile whenever you see the guy – this lets him know that you’re happy to see him. Even if he’s in a group of people, reserve the biggest smile for him.
Make eye contact. Making eye contact is an essential flirting technique. One great tip is to look at him from across the room, then once he catches you looking hold his gaze for a moment before smiling and looking away. He’ll be hooked.
Make physical contact. Another great flirting technique is to touch the guy in a more-than-friends kinda way. Lightly brush his arm when you’re talking, give him a hug when you greet him, or gently mess his hair when you’re joking around. This will give him the “I’m interested” vibe pretty quickly.
Text him. If you have his number (if you don’t, you should ask for it) you can text him things throughout the day to let him know you’re thinking of him. You can send funny or flirty texts and if he replies with the same, you’ll know you’re on the right track.
For example, if he has a sports game or exam coming up, you could text to wish him good luck. He’ll hopefully find this sweet and appreciate the fact that you remembered.
However, you should also be sure not to overdo it…remember the rule: if you send two consecutive texts without getting a reply, you should stop texting. It needs to be reciprocal.
Invite him to hang out. If the two of you have only been hanging out in group situations or in more formal settings (like school or work) til now, it might be time to invite him somewhere on his own. It doesn’t need to be a three course dinner in a fancy restaurant, it could be something as simple as coffee or the mall.
If he says yes, that’s a pretty sure indication that he’s interested in you, or at least that he really enjoys your company. Take it as a positive sign and enjoy it. Just try not to let things get awkward – you’re just two friends having a good time, right?
If he says no, don’t freak out too much. He may genuinely have another commitment, or he may just feel too shy around you to hang out one-on-one . Give it some more time, then try again. If he says no a second time, you might have to face the fact that he’s not interested.
Tell him you’re interested. At the end of the day, there’s only so much waiting around and hoping you can do. Sometimes your best bet is to tell the guy straight out that you’re interested and ask him if he feels the same. Whatever his response is, at least things will be out in the open and you can either move forward with the relationship or move on.
Don’t believe the hype about guys having to ask girls out. In reality, guys love strong, confident women who know what they want. In fact, just the fact that you had the courage to ask might be enough to impress the guy and make him say yes.
Never get someone else to ask a guy out for you. It is immature and will increase the chances of the guy saying no. Even if you’re too shy to ask him to his face, a text message or handwritten note will be much more effective than the “send a friend” method.
Have patience. These things take time. You can’t force someone to like you, and trying to hurry things up can ruin the courtship altogether. Give him some space and don’t try to be obsesive Let things progress at a natural pace, or fade out of natural causes.
Eventually he’ll tell you one way or another whether or not he’s interested in reciprocating your affection. And if he’s not, don’t hang around him like a lost puppy. Sometimes you might be incompatible in ways that you don’t see, and sometimes a guy just isn’t ready for a long term relationship.
If this is the case, don’t waste any time in moving on! Don’t take rejection too personally. It happens to everyone at one time or another.
There are plenty more fish in the sea and as long as you have confidence in yourself, you know that you’re a good catch and the right guy is out there waiting for you.
Take his feelings into account. Finally, but importantly, keep in mind that you cannot control what other people think and do. He may be the object of your interest, but that does not create any obligation that you be an intimate part of his world.
Turn the situation around. If there was some random guy who took an interest in you, is there anything that he could do to make you like him? Probably not.
The reality is that you will either like him that way, or you won’t. You will find him attractive or not. You will find him funny or not. All he can do is try to be the best person he can be, and hope that you agree.
The reverse is also true. Be the best person you can be, and let it develop––or not––from there.